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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Gynecologist

From the muffled shuffling of files outside the door, to the pungent smell of alcohol---the gynecologist's office mantains a certain air of mystery. If you even hear your lady doc speak these words, run screaming from the building and never look back:

"Tonight, I'm wrapping up my last online class. As of tomorrow, I'll be an official graduate of JOCKS2DOCS online lab of simulated learning. This pap smear was for a grade. Would you mind scoring my rubric?"

"Darnit, Robin. You forgot to change the paper again. Mrs. Jackson appears to be stuck."

"We're gonna need a bigger speculum."

"Why do your feet smell like hand sanitizer and raspberries."

"Have you been using those scented bath salts again?"

"Don't mind those posters on the wall. I'm sure YOU'RE just fine."

"You know, good hygiene is the key to good health. Why don't we try to unlock that door, shall we?"

"Now, where did this come from?"

"Gloves? Hello? Can you say O-V-E-R-R-E-A-C-T?"

"So, a sperm and an egg walk into a bar..."

"Here's another one. What do you call a ring of red, inflamed pustules? I don't know either. Hang on a sec. I'm gonna google this one."

"If I promise to change your name, can I share this on Facebook?"

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